Island of Assassins makes a bid for most grimly violent Lupin III movie in its opening minutes, when Lupin's attempt at robbing a heavily guarded dinner party is interrupted by a band of gas-masked intruders. The thugs murder their way through wealthy guests, and even Inspector Zenigata, Lupin’s normally indefatigable nemesis, is wounded in the exchange. Lupin escapes and gives chase, noticing that the assassins have his old Walther P-38 for some reason. They also have a strikingly blue-eyed woman in their ranks, and Lupin notices her as much as he does his classic handgun.

Our hero has little trouble locating the marauders’ island base, though they’re supposedly the world's most feared and secretive cabal of killers-for-hire. As Lupin and his terse gunman ally Jigen sneak onto the isle, they’re hunted by the assassins. Called the Tarantulas, this clichéd outfit includes a Large Guy, a Bomb-Throwing Fat Guy (named Bomber, of course), and a Blade-Licking Lunatic (named Jack, of course). Lupin’s girlfriend/rival Fujiko is ahead of him, as she’s infiltrated the assassins with the help of Lupin’s samurai associate Goemon,. There’s one catch, though: all of the Tarantulas’ members are given a poison-inked spider tattoo on their hands, and only the island’s natural sulfuric-oxide air counteracts that poison. Once out in the real world, they’re dead if they don’t have a tank of island-made gas.

After some obligatory capering, Lupin is imprisoned, tattooed, and forced to join the Tarantulas. He eventually ferrets out the island’s stranger secrets with the help of one of their less devoted members: Ellen, whose blue eyes and unsurprisingly tragic past got Lupin's attention in the first place. Most of the assassins stay loyal to their bald, mechanical-handed leader, Gordeau, yet a few are sick of their lot. Ellen, Bomber, and the group’s doctor are among these malcontents, and they want Lupin and his companions to aid their escape.

An early scene in Island of Assassins shows an unfortunate politician’s blood splattering all over a birthday cake, and nothing else so aptly reveals the movie’s heavy-handed attempts at toughening up Lupin. Director Hiroyuki Yano guns for the same grim look as the entertaining Lupin III: Dead or Alive, so the film's heavy on the shadows, fog, and strangely misshapen characters. Even Lupin himself is little more deranged; his first-act motorcycle ride seems to endanger an awful lot of innocent people.

Originally, the script called for their knives to get all tied up, Looney Tunes-style.

While it lurches a bit in its first act, Island of Assassins has the pieces of a good Lupin III spectacle. There’s a race to cure the poison. There’s a war brewing among the island’s trained killers. There’s a half-decent villain in Gordeau. And there’s an orbital laser weapon that fries any ships that try to escape the isle.

Unfortunately, Island of Assassins only gets it half right. There’s plenty of engaging action in the film, but it rarely resolves things. Subplots are waved aside as the writers try far too hard to link everything to a larger revelation involving Lupin’s old Walther and his shady past. The film’s big twist is a surprise, but only because it comes out of nowhere. The smaller stories have an insipid ring (Ellen’s dad sold her to the assassins for booze money?), and the Lupin III regulars do next to nothing. Jigen, Goemon, and an exceptionally blonde Fujiko are bundled off with the rebel assassins, and they only get a few moments to shine. Zenigata does even less. Once wounded, he spends all of his time bickering with his fresh-faced partner, Victor, and that goes nowhere. He's just in the movie because, well, it wouldn’t be Lupin III without him.

Yet Island of Assassins stakes out a nasty little edge. It helps that Ellen’s more interesting than Lupin’s normally disposable love interests. Though of cliched background, she's also bleaker, more active, and not guaranteed survival. This isn’t a movie designed to make you feel better, and it shows even in its strange design: characters look crude, but they move with rapid grace whenever violence arises. And this makes it a shame that Island never has the scenery and budget of a theatrical affair. Island pretends otherwise, but it's still a made-for-TV Lupin flick from 1997.

FUNimation’s dub may go down as less inspired than the voicework in Geneon’s Lupin III TV series, but it’s serviceable. Sonny Strait’s a good Lupin, and the only regular cast member that needs work is Meredith McCoy, who can’t quite handle the Fujiko’s more flirtatious style. The supporting characters range in quality from Caitlin Glass’ solid Ellen to a ridiculous duh-duh voice for the largest of the assassins. The Japanese cast is as sturdy as ever.

Island of Assassins puts on a tough face, and it almost backs that up. Some moments break free of the usual puffery, yet it still suffers from the same spastic writing and rampant clichés that bring down far too many Lupin III TV specials. At least it stands out in some small way. Island of Assassins is uglier than most of Lupin’s adventures, and that also makes it a little more memorable. But only a little.