The Gallery of Hideous Box Art

Astyanax: In which I avoid making a pun like NASTYanax.
Clash at Demonhead: Featuring absolutely no early punk references.
Crystalis: SNK's best game and blandest cover.
Dynamite Duke: Sega's semi-invisible man.
El Viento: I don't know how to say "This ain't right" in Spanish, but it would apply here.
Guardian Heroes: In a word, GRAAAAHHHH.
The Guardian Legend: Somewhere, a generic RPG is missing a cover.
Rival Turf!: Street thugs don't get any tougher than this.
Saint Sword: There's a sword. Saint to follow.
Streetsmart: If this were a Neo-Geo game, the SNK cult would love it. But it's not.
Strider: Captain Zoom fights the Monkey-Men of Mars.
Strider (NES): The lesser Strider with the slightly better cover.
Tagin' Dragon: This makes the title seem even filthier.
Trouble Shooter: Ever wonder why they didn't translate Trouble Shooter 2?
Tuff E Nuff: Also known by its birth name, Thurston Edward Nuffington III.
Valis III: Three covers. One is decent.
Vice: Project Doom: Vice is, in fact, nice. GamePro was right.
Wing of Alnam: Yes, just one wing. Can't afford two.
Wonder Boy in Monster Land: Well, at least he's a happy doll-faced lunatic.
Wonder Boy III: The Dragon's Trap: Sadly, this cover's actually good for an SMS game.
Wurm: The center of the earth is full of hair.

General Crap

Bounty Arms: A look at a lost PlayStation action game that mixed Bionic Commando with regular Commando.
Cyborgs Ainít Ladies: Here I tried to spark a new internet catch phrase. It didn't take.
Final Fantasy XII Day: It actually happened. To a point.
Final Fantasy Tactics Figures: Because we just don't talk about Final Fantasy enough.
Guilty Gear X Figures: No, there aren't any Bridget figures. Yet.
Guilty Gear Isuka Millia Rage Statue: Still none. Stop asking.
Quill Quest: My first and only attempt at designing a video game.
The Valkyrie in Video Games: Exploring the marvelous bastardization of a Norse pseudo-deity.

All applicable characters, names, and titles are copyrighted by their respective companies and used for review purposes.